38.1

Wed 26/08/09

Whats worse than having to wake up early in the Morning?

.

Having to wake up early in the morning with a splitting headache. . Ugh

This Banana knows how it feels

As if that wasn't bad enough. The headache came along with a complimentary cough.

To cut a long story short, Each cough aggravated the headache. It was not a pleasant feeling.

An appropriate sound effect to describe the scenario:

*squish squish*

With the added visual effect of:

A brain bouncing around the inner walls of the cranium in a similar fashion to the ball in the retro arcade game pong. It was pretty bad.. So i conceded to sleeping it off.

Later that day. .

Me and some buddies decided to catch a documentary about Alien refugees stranded in Johannesburg. *WARNING! SPOILER ALERT*

Overview- District 9

When you look at this picture, You see a Spaceship that could potentially make the Earth holier than Swiss cheese. But don't be fooled. . It's totally harmless. Go watch Star Trek instead if you're looking for Hardcore Spaceship action.

.
Ok that sounded wrong. . but nevermind.

Genre: Sci-Fi

The story begins with a Documentary of the events over the past 20 years. From the day the Aliens landed, to present day. Humans weren't too happy with the Aliens making a mess of District 9, Johannesburg. The place was a total slum. So, they decided the Aliens had to go. Brute force would be used if necessary. The man responsible for the evictions,

The Protagonist:

Wikus Van De Merwe

Head operative of a fictional evil cooperation. (MNU)

A Pretty badass name. Perhaps.
Throughout the story he experiences significant character development, Something rare in movies these days. Starting off as a pawn of the MNU, he proceeds to do his job, Evicting Aliens in a not-so-compassionate manner.

Through some dumb luck, He comes in contact with an Alien Substace that alter's his Genetic Code. Causing him to mutate into one, and suddenly everyone wants a piece of him.

The Antagonists:

1) The MNU (Multinational United)

Alien weapons in the Story are only usable by characters who possess Alien DNA. Being the 1st human to survive after having his DNA messed up, Wikus was able to use the said weapons. The MNU was jealous because Wikus suceeded where they couldn't after 20 years of Research.
So they proceded to do the unthinkable-

There are so many ways this scene could have gone wrong..

-Ok, not really. But they wanted to cut him up and study his mutation. At this point, you'd have to wonder if the poor guy would have preferred the unthinkable to happen.

Eventually Wikus Escapes, But Then theres these guys. .

2) Nigerian Warlord(?) & Co

If im not mistaken, Its the fella at the bottom right. .

Their role? They deal with black market trades, Monopolizing sales of Fake Cat Food to the Aliens in exchange for their Arms. Note that Arms, refers to both their weapons and the appendage.

But Whats the use of a decapitated Alien arm?. .

Apparently consuming lots of it is nutritious and will grant you the ability to use Alien weapons.

At least thats what they believed. .

.
It wasn't working so they wanted a piece of Wikus too. Specifically, his arm.

By the end of the movie, the two Antagonist factions are fighting over possession of Wikus. He stands his ground and survives the ordeal, but is badly injured.

As for the Aliens, 2 of 1.8 Million manage to evacuate earth by the end of the film.

(Thats a success rate of 0.0000001%) The rest are left to be rounded up and forced to live in a concentration camp. Oh- almost forgot, They promise they'll be back in 3 years to make Wikus human again.

In Summary, A Day in the Life of Wikus. .

1. Escape from people trying to dissect you.
2. Escape from people trying to eat you.
3. Kill them all.
4. Discover it's going to be 3 years before your Alien friend can fix your messed up DNA.

. . and you thought your day was bad.

- End -

Conclusion

Meh. What an unproductive day. Stupid headache.

Oh, If you're wondering whats the significance of 38.1.

Thats just a body temp measurement when I went to the Doc.

Just another Twist-in-Logic

Hey There,

Just an Introductory post.

You have been warned~

Every New Chapter in Life has Beginning.

Let this blog be a Chapter to document the crazy nonsense rumbling in my head. I admit, my thinking can be rather flawed. Through discussion, What I hope this blog would bring to me a realization of my wrongs, so I can avoid repeating my past mistakes caused by my stubborness. One day I might even look back at it and get a good laugh at what i've written.

I'm quite an impulsive person. I tend to do things when I 'Feel like it'.

So, I feel like starting a blog, Hopefully the novelty of it's entertainment value won't wear off too quickly.

You may find my posts wierd as my thoughts often revolve around what I like to describe as twisted logic. (Thus the title twist-in-logic™) I know a number of people who simply disagree with me because I just think on a different, Imaginary plane. Often makes me see things in a way that is not socially acceptable.

Either ways, I encourage any readers to keep an open mind. If you disagree with me, You have every right to voice out, Discuss and Justify your point of view.

In Summary

PS: I Hope people will be able to appreciate my writings here. Because I'm not so much of a writer, so this kinda goes out of my way. My posts will be intent on discussing my views of the world, expressed in a nonsensical, totally random fashion.

Thank you for reading.

-End of Intro-

Wierd.. I just felt Deja Vu

6 Annoyances About Commuting

It's another lovely day, where you get to go to work. Excited?

.

No? Yeah, figured.

If you're one of the lucky few with a workplace just opposite your house, Kudo's to you.

Some people are lucky enough to have a car. Others are misfortunate as they are helplessly cornered into using the Pubic Public Transportation System.

And if the Public transportation system is nowhere near reliable,

Say goodbye to your time wasted waiting.. waiting.. and waiting.. zZ

Lets face it, Commuting sucks.

It doesn't matter what mode of transport you use.

6. Anti-Meter Taxis

And so the day starts off. There aren't any Bustops or Train Stations near your place. Whats the next best option? Flag a taxi, To get to the public transport.

Picture not related

Heres the part where you Roll an Imaginary 5 sided Dice. (Numbers run 1-5)

Rolled a 5? Thats great! You've found a Taxi that charges you by the meter. Honest Taxi Drivers like these deserve a tip.

4? Hey, This Taxi uses a meter too! Aren't you feeling lucky? Sit back, take a nap, enjoy the ride. Eventually you reach your destination. Either one of two things just happened.

1. Lets just say there is usually more than one route to your workplace. You just went the long way.
2. The meter is just a toy. You're still getting charged a flat rate thats 150% of the actual price for the distance you just travelled. This is by the way, the same as rolling any number between 1-3.

Dammit, Biased Die

Wait, Why?

Apparently, Some taxi drivers wages are barely enough for them to sustain a living. The extra charge also pays off for money they've lost while stuck in 'traffic jams'* during the journey. Guess we could think of it as charity. Every extra buck they make easens their daily burden.

* *Cough* Bullshit *Cough*

5. Sardines (People Jams)

Finally, The Train station. Before you step on, here's a chance to breathe and cooldown from any rage you may have after being ripped off by the taxi.
Or not..

"You and I, We're not so Different. ."

Comfort is not in the dictionary of the Public transportation system. Keep in mind this doesn't just happen on trains, but on busses too. Too often you'd be stuck standing all the way, smelling the armpit of someone with really bad BO.

That isn't the worst part. People often force their way in, Because they don't want to be screwed by their bosses for turning up late at the office. While forcing their way in, Train operators often encourage passengers move to the center of the train to allow others to board.

This creates a new problem. Now you have to force your way out, with the added risk that you won't make it anyway since its rush hour, and people will be pushing their way in.

Can't really blame the train operators, They do make an effort. Very often announcements are made to boarding passengers, encouraging them to make way for alofting passengers before barging their way in.

Unfortunately, This is to no avail as these operators do NOT have the same level of influence as Denzel Washington in Pelham 123.

"Please allow passengers to alight before boarding."

Wait, Why?

People would rather squeeze than wait a few minutes for another train. Because it probably won't make much difference if they do.

4. Transports Not Arriving/Leaving on Schedule

You wake up not-so-restless, Get dressed, and Rolled a 5 with the taxi.

Feeling lucky? For once things are going your way.

. . Then Murphys (pessimistic) Law kicks in. You reach the bus stop, but the bus is nowhere to be seen. Then you wait, for what seems like forever.

That's right, Snooze.

Just make sure you wake up when the bus arrives.

Sooner or later, the public transport arrives. Still feeling lucky? Good, you're on the way to work. There may however be the alternative of the Bus Driver taking a tea break. This of course means you have to wait even longer. But you can't blame him/her, Everyone needs a rest. Something to ponder about,

"The world would be a better place if busses were automated."

Wait, Why?

Two possible reasons:

• It rained, so a traffic jam
• It didn't rain, but theres a traffic jam
• The bus driver won't drive until the traffic jam vanishes
• They're waiting for more passengers so they can pack em like sardines

Not sure if the next point is better or worse. .

3. Public Transport Services, Jumping You

This doesn't happen everywhere. (Or does it?) If a bus is packed like a can of sardines, theres no room for anyone else. So the bus ignores its designated stop and continues on with its jouney. Ok, Thats justified. But sometimes. .

Wait. . Isn't that a disabled person sign?

The public transport just jumps you for seemingly no reason. A totally empty bus, or train. I've personally seen it happen, and I'm pretty sure there was no label to indicating that particular carriage is exclusively for the disabled.

Wait, Why?

Just a wild guess, There's more than one stop every bus/train has to make.

Lets call them stops A, B, .., G. Now lets imagine,

- Pick up 50 People at stop A

- Drop 4 People at stop B, Pick up another 15

- Reach stop C, and theres no space because no one gets off.

Stop C never gets a chance unless an empty bus/train jumps stops A/B to get there. Comprende?

Another scenario. No Taxi's? No Bus? You're forced to. .

2. Take a Walk

It took only 5 minutes with public transport. Shouldn't take much longer on foot right?

.

LEFT! WRONG!

Actually. . It might not be so bad to own one of these:

A Honda Walking Assist

Not to get all Mathematical, but here's the facts:

Travel 5 minutes in a Bus going at 60 km/h. You just travelled 5 km.

The average human walks at 5 km/h. (Citation needed)

You probably figured out by now how long the walk would take.

On the flip side, walking is healthy since you burn calories.

But on some days, It just wont do.

Fortunately, The kid has a bicycle

Wait, Why?

Impatience kicked in. If only you'd waited a little longer,

Because the bus WILL overtake you.

1. The Traffic Jam

All that work has finally paid off. Congratulations, you have enough to purchase a car. No more sardining, taxi charity, walking in the rain, and time wasted waiting for public transports. Hooray!

Sadly, theres still the Universal Problem known as the Traffic Jam,

The Vehicle version of Sardines.

Don't you just love those shift-the-car-out-of-the-carpark puzzles?

Here's the live action version

The traffic jam is probably the root cause of many delay's during your daily commute. Best way to avoid it? Wake up really early. But hey. . Lets be realistic, How long can you keep it up before the fatigue takes it's toll on your body? If your answer is forever, you have my respect.

Wait, Why?

Just an opinion, Most commuters eventually get sick of taking public transportation. So, they buy cars and indulge in the comfort. When theres too many cars on the roads, The roads become the equivalent of a Bus/Trains. The cars on become the equivalent of the people cramped into that Bus/Train.

On the Brightside, At least in a car it's not so claustrophobic.