Panda Eye(s) is an affliction most people will experience at least once in their lives. Usually occurring due to a lack of sleep for a variety of reasons such as Insomnia, Assignment overload, addiction to TV drama, Football season, Emotional Stress and eating Hello Pandas.
Citation needed
Regardless, I believe deep inside we all fight a crusade against waking up after not getting enough sleep on the night before. I need not stress that restlessness is in the top 10 list of suckiest feelings in the world. If you don't agree with me, Heres a challenge. Lie down on your bed, Close your eyes, But don't sleep. Just, lie there until the next morning. It ain't a 100% guarantee, but you probably won't be in a very jovial mood the next day.
Symptoms of Panda Eye Include:
6 - Black Eyes
Last night must've been a Good Good Night huh?
The Peas have it, Therefore it's Cool.
Take a good look in the mirror.
Is there a discoloration of skin-tone beneath or around your eyes?
Do your eyes appear to be sunken into their sockets?
Did you Club Last night although you've got obligations the next morning, therefore preventing you from getting enough sleep?
If the answer is yes to either of these questions;
Chances are high that you have Panda Eye. (Hey, that last sentence rhymed. .)
The Solution: Modify the Human Genome to allow us to endure Sleepless nights. -OR- Spam Coffee
5 - The temptation to (Physically)Maul-to-Death the first person who pisses you off on the day to come.
Friendly word of advice: Keep your Distance
From personal experience, Panda Eye sometimes comes with the added effect of grouchiness. Sufferers will find that they are getting losing their patience and getting pissed off by
everyday annoyances much easier than normal. It won't be surprising if you find yourself cussing at every little thing that stands in your way. Yes, that includes the person who just jumped you out of the blue on the highway.
Don't mess with Mr. Panda. .
The Solution: Avoid Human Contact -OR- Carry around a warning sign that says keep 10m away.
4 - Failure to Comply
The human brain, After a lack of sleep
A poorly rested human brain is the equivalent of a car with no wheels. It's just that hard to get your thoughts moving. A good example would be attending a lecture, and hearing every word that comes out of the lecturers mouth. But somehow, it just doesn't register. You walk out of lecture having learned nothing. You attention span would be comparable to that of a Goldfish. Might as well have stayed at home and slept longer instead.
The Solution: Stay in bed -OR- Sleep in class
3 - Slower Reflexes
Every try driving on a highway when you're sleeping? Long Distance or simply stuck in a Jam?
If you're really tired, It's possible to fall asleep with your eyes open. (I've heard the stories) This is no joke. If a car in front of you were to suddenly brake, be prepared to fork out some cash to an angry driver to get his bumper repaired. Alternatively. . If you wanted to be an ass you could just 'Maul' your frustration out on the fella, then drive off. . Which is probably why driving law tests always recommend you pull over and get a quick power nap if you're behind on your sleep.
Pictured above is a Car-Bed. Most likely to be located in your Bedroom. Remind me again why they haven't invented a Bed-Car? It would seem like a best seller design for congested roads.
But then again. . That might make traffic jams worse.
The Solution: Invent the Bed-Car and have it mass produced by 2012. Just in time to prepare for the prophecized end of the world so we can add Bed-Cars to the list of possible disasters.
2 - Not Responding
You're having a meal out with your friends. One person seem's to be quieter than the others. This could mean either one of two things. They either have a lot on their mind, or they're behind on sleep. When you try speak to them they just aren't responsive. Typical responses may include:
-Huh?.. What?
-Oh.. Okay
-Yeah
-Nope
-*Silence*
The Solution: Leave them alone. They just don't feel like talking. Probe and you shall incur their wrath. I quote Barney from HIMYM, True Story.
1 - Just 10 More Minutes
Shit.. The alarms ringing. Just 10 more minutes. *Hits the snooze button*
Next thing you know an hours past and you're going to be in quite a rush if you have any activities you're supposed to be doing on the following day.
This is extremely dangerous if the activity involves meeting up your loved one for breakfast (Especially if you're a guy), and you've left him/her waiting there for an hour. -OR- If you had a job interview that would have netted you a 5 digit salary. If it was the latter, you'd probably want to shoot yourself.
Heres an image of a gun so you can pretend to do so.
The Solution: Try using 3 Alarm Clocks. Set them in a triangle formation around you, and Have them ring at 30 minute intervals. Credits goes to Marc for this Idea : ) If it still fails then really no hope.
Happy Belated DeepRaya!
